Sunday, February 04, 2007


Beavertail is the southern most point on Conanicut Island. Jamestown is the local town and most folks refer to the island as Jamestown. The Beavertail lighthouse is located on this point guiding mariners into Narragansett Bay.

Beavertail is where I go to think. When I was between jobs in the summer of 1981, I would ride my motorcycle out there and use my leather jacket as a pillow and doze on the rocks and listen to the waves breaking over the rocks. Beavertail is also where I go to ward off the bad karma. I don't get depressed, mostly I either get a little sad or pissed at an undefined something.

Last week there were a number of irritants that seemed to add up. Marie did not bounce back from her weekly cancer treatment. The body ache stayed with her and she spent the Thursday crying. I had almost talked her into a ride to anywhere when the phone rang and my presence was requested by mom who was once again putting her house on the market. The agent was late, entered the house with cell phone pressed to her ear. As soon as she sat down, she said she had a pressing call to make. I started to stand up, and told her that I sign the papers right then as my wife was sick. She put the phone down. Mom liked her because mom likes anyone who hugs her. My first impression of the agent was not good.

Later when I got home and saw that the stack of mail included a Blue cross and a Lifespan envelope, I said, "mail from Blue cross makes me nervous". Bluecross doctors (paid by Bluecross) do not agree that Herceptin is proper treatment for Marie's condition and disallowed over $16,000.00 for January alone. I called Bluecross and talked to a very nice customer service person. No one gets to talk to the nameless doctors that say no. I called Lifespan and left a message. I guess no one in the receivables department wants to talk. They promise a call back. Not yet.

Friday, I went to the local pharmacy and had them price out Marie's scripts. I need to find a medicare D provider by July 1st. As I expected, none of them will cover more than 70% of the two drugs Marie takes to control her MS. Together they add up to over $3000.00 a month.

So, yesterday Marie and I drove to Beavertail. She sat in the car with the window barely cracked. I went and stood on the rocks in front of the lighthouse. There was a storm off the coast and the waves were running 6 to 8 feet and the wind was about 20 knots or better. As the waves started to break the wind would whip the crest of the breaking wave and catapult the spray 10 to 15 feet ahead of the breaking wave. As the waves crashed into the rocks the spray would shoot up and the droplets would catch the sunlight. The air was so crisp and clean smelling, and my face was burning from the force of the cold wind. I stood there until all the stress and whatever drained from my body. As I got into the car, I told Marie that I felt relaxed and we could head home.

Beavertail.... My favorite place in Rhode Island.

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