The Food Chain

My son and I were walking the beach early Thanksgiving morning. We stopped to chat with a fisherman who had two rods working. He is from north of Toronto and retired from the Canadian army after 28 years of service. He was a very affable person. While we were talking, he brought up the subject of sharks. He began a dissertation on the Bull Shark, a creature that prefers warm water and one that is prevalent off the gulf coast at certain times of the year and occasionally anytime. They are a very aggressive shark. He encouraged up to Google Bull Shark. I told him I try to swim almost everyday. With a big smile he told me as soon as you put your feet in the water you become part of the food chain. We all chuckled and Todd and I continued our walk.

Todd did Google the creature and we were quite amazed. Its the only shark that can survive in salt and fresh water. They have been found in the Great Lakes and over 2000 miles up the Amazon River.

To think my mother did not want me to come to Florida because of the Gators and snakes.

Four Things

I will take the challenge from my daughter

4 Jobs I had:

Paperboy
Super market "gofer" stack shelves, check out register, whatever
U S Navy Jet Mechanic
Computer Programmer


4 Movies I love to watch:

Pretty Woman
The Quiet Man
The African Queen
The Hunt For Red October

4 Places I have Lived:

Des Moines, Iowa (during WW II - I don't remember it)
Aboard the USS Saratoga
3rd floor apartment Pawtucket RI - first 3 years of marriage
Raised ranch North Providence, RI

4 TV Shows I enjoy:

Bones
Womans Murder Club
Saving Grace
Cold Case

4 Places I have been:

The top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
Beirut before the troubles
Catapulted off an aircraft carrier in a Navy jet
Lafayette, Louisianna

4 Websites I visit daily:

Yahoo
Lighthousefriends
My Bank's homepage
ABC6

4 Favorite Foods:

A great steak with baked potato topped with butter and sour cream
BBQ ribs wet or dry rub - Memphis
Edy's slow churned chocolate chip ice cream
Greasey cheeseburger with mustard and raw onion

4 Places I'd rather be:

This is difficult as I am retired and I have the time and resouces to go where I want

Panama City Beach, FL in the winter
Rhode Island in the spring and fall
The coast of Maine in the summer
With any of my grandchildren without their parents

This is a conditional location - Australia if Hillary wins

4 Places I'd like to visit:

Take the day train from London to Edinbough
Cruise the Alaskan coast
Columbia River Gorge
West coast Lighthouses

The week that was

My son flew in on the Monday before Thanksgiving to spend a week with me. I picked him up at the Tallahassee airport. His plane was early. Perhaps Bush's opening the military air route was going to work. My son arrived with a bad cough, chest congestion and a notably downhearted attitude. By the time we arrived back at Panama City Beach, it was too late to get him any over the counter meds. Early the next morning while he was still sleeping I went and got cold pills and cough syrup.

Slowly over the next two days he started feeling better. He was also getting plenty of rest. We shopped for Thanksgiving dinner. We bought a 5 pound turkey breast. I conferred with my youngest daughter on cooking time. Fortunately there were instructions inside the wrapping with cooking time and temperature instructions. We had a great meal and he watched football all afternoon. He lamented on the fact that the condo did not have the NFL network for the evening game. I said a silent prayer thanking the condo association for not providing that channel. Thus I managed to get through another milestone. I was glad my son came.

On Friday he and I took a ride to DeFuniak Springs. Their claim to fame is a perfectly round lake. The center of town looks like a picture out of Norman Rockwell. Unfortunately, the local shops look like the Wal Mart on the main road leading into the area is siphoning all of the business from that area. The one shop that looked the busiest was a local new and used book store. We browsed for some time and we each made purchases. This store was a great favorite of my wife's. The two local restaurants were closed so we headed back to the condo.

Saturday, we headed to Tallahassee in early afternoon. My son had a 7 AM flight on Sunday morning, and I decided the best bet was to stay overnight in Tallahassee. We did go to the historic old capitol building. I wandered around out side taking pictures while he went inside. I was going to join him. We were late and they were closing so I did not get inside. I need to make a day trip and go back and take the tour.

Yesterday, we were up at 4:15 AM EST or 3:30 AM CST (my body is on CST). I tried to go back to the motel for more sleep, but I could not. It's odd but when I got back to the condo, I missed my son.

Last evening was the worse night I have had since I left home. I had a complete meltdown. I believe several thing contributed to my sense of dis pare. I was physically exhausted, I was channel surfing when I came upon the Anne of Green Gables series. This was a favorite of my wife and the reason she requested that we tour Prince Edward Island. I had also read my daughter's blog describing her feelings at a family birthday party. So I had a dreadful evening, feeling guilty and sad.

Apalachicola

Apalachicola is noted for its oysters. These oysters are among the best in the world. They are grown in the bay where the fresh water river empties. This combination results in a sweet fresh tasting oyster rather than a salty tasting oyster. The city of Atlanta is in serious trouble with fresh drinking water falling below 80 days supply. The Governor of Georgia petition the Army Core of Engineers to reduce the flow of water down the river that empties into the Apalachicola Bay. The oyster fishermen are looking at reduced crop yields as a result. The southeast desperately needs heavy prolonged rain.

Last Thursday I headed East to Apalachicola for oysters. I went to Papa Joe's which is slightly off the tourist path. Marie and I found this accidentally because it was on a side street when we were going to buy Tupelo Honey. As soon as the waitress came to the table, she mentioned that the oysters might be saltier. I ordered the first dozen. They came ice cold with minced horseradish on the side. A little dab of horseradish and a squirt of cocktail sauce and I was ready. Needless to say they were well worth the 160 mile round trip. Yes, a couple were salty, but they more than met my expectations. In fact I ordered a second dozen.

The cafe in the center of town is notable because a couple of scenes from Ulee's Gold was filmed there.

I am thankful that I seem to have found a sense of peacefulness here. I may be alone but I don't feel lonely.

Lafayette

This past weekend I went to Lafayette to get together with a group of Navy friends. Over 40 years ago we were best friends. Now we are more like brothers. I loved Lafayette. Everywhere we went a Cajun group was playing. There is a mournful sound to their singing, not that I could understand the Cajun French. We went to dinner and the band was playing. We went to breakfast and the band was playing. We went on a swamp tour and when I drove up and over the levee on a gravel path we viewed a large body of water. This is called Atchafalaya an Indian name meaning long river. The tour was not for another 90 minutes. We sat on the porch listening to the Cajun band. Some of us drank bloody marys, or beers. I was the designated driver so I stuck with diet coke. Norris was our tour guide and he gave us statistics on the size of the swamp which is created by the overflow of drainage from 31 states and 2 provinces of Canada. He would lapse from English to French as we had two visitors from France. At one point he slowed and slapped the side of the boat and upped pop the snout of an alligator. Norris promptly tossed a chunk of chicken to the gator. It was a great time with perfect weather.

We ended the day back at the hosts home. We told sea stories from years ago that get better with passing years while the ribs were grilling. I will go back to Lafayette before I head home in the spring. I think of the basket of sweet potato biscuits that accompanied breakfast at Prejeans and the music and dancing at Mulachs. Best of all I was with the people that have become part of my family.

Three miles

Today was notable for three things:

1) I went to morning mass at the local Catholic Church. First time since Marie's service. It was at 7 AM.


2) I made the three mile walk today in a fairly decent time.

3) The maintenance man for this building ran a wire into the unit and hooked up my computer to a black box (actually white) and I have high speed Internet. No more dial up. I won't cancel the dial up just yet. I am the A building beta test site and will periodically report my access and speed of connection to management.

Less notable, I read the owners manual and changed the clock in the car that was still set to Eastern daylight saving time, a two hour difference. It was a little chilly this morning. I'm still in short sleeves and shorts, but the noon anchor introduced the weatherman by saying it was COLD. By then it was hovering around 60 degrees with a light wind.

I am thankful for my three attentive children.

First Milestone

One positive about being in an area with seniors skipping their native home winters is that you get to talk to folks in your age group. Granted most are about a decade older. I have spoken to a couple who have been through the alone thing and they mention that it takes a year. To get through the first birthday, holiday or whatever.

Today is the first milestone. It would be our 42ND wedding anniversary. I am doing OK. First my son called, then i opened a short but touching email from the youngest daughter. Then my brother in law John called.

I accomplished a task that may seem out of the ordinary for this milestone. I went to social security to apply for my wife's death benefit. I don't need the money, but it is a benefit that the government supplies ($255.00). She worked and they took a portion of her pay, so I wanted the money for her. When I arrived, I got a number and the ticket said approximate wait time 35 minutes. Now my family knows about my patients level. So, an hour later when I was called for the pre-interview, I was still calm. Then it was another 20 minutes for the final interview and completion of all paperwork. In about a month the money will be deposited. They were very kind and after 90 minutes I was able to walk out pleased that I did not leave without finishing.

I may be alone, but oddly, I am not lonely.

I am thankful that my family thinks about me and worries about me. I am pleased with me for sticking it out at social security.

Settling In

I took a good look at the pots and pans in the rented condo. All the frying pans (2) have peeling Teflon. Not good. There is no roasting pan and the toaster is damaged and only warms one side of the bread leaving the other side cool and un-toasted. Now I am not a fan of Wal-Mart but the folks that work at the local store are so pleasant unlike the ones in nearby Massachusetts to my Northern home.

I purchased a nice (made in USA) frying pan and a roasting pan. I also bought a cheap toaster. All of which, I will tote home in the spring. I miss my gas grill. I used that almost every night to cook. I am uncertain as to how long to cook chicken in the oven here. I will get that done.

I washed the car today. There is a nice spot with a water hose in a out of the way spot. I wanted to get the remaining bugs off the front and road grime from several states. I pulled the car into the carport which was not designed with this van in mind. I had to fold the drivers side mirror.

I did get a nice swim in the Gulf. The paper said the water temp is 76, but I believe it is less than that.

My daughter mentions something that she is thankful for each day. I am always thankful for family and friends. Today I am thankful that I have been able to concentrate for the last 3 days on a book I have been reading. Lately I have not been able to do that. I am also retaining what I have read. The book is "Flags of Our Fathers" by James Bradley.

Snow Bird

Yes, I realize that it's too early to be escaping a New England winter, but this year, I needed a change of scenery. I don't propose to blog everyday in November as my youngest daughter is doing. However, I plan on being more active. I left Rhode Island in late October and headed South. My first night was spent in Virginia Beach, VA for two reasons. I prefer not to drive the beltway around DC and I like the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and tunnel. I always stop on the scenic overlook. That day the water was angry and waves were breaking over the breakwater. I called my old Navy pal, Hugh (Tex) and he and his wife took me out to dinner. I always enjoy his and Samra's company. The following day, I stopped in Georgia and stayed with another old Navy pal and his wife. They were still suffering jet lag after their 16 day tour of Europe. It was a restful time with old friends. I particularly enjoyed the Southern buffet in Statesboro. It had been a while since I had collard greens and also a side of stewed tomatoes to go with the grilled chicken.

I arrived at the condo, November 1st. It was an uneventful drive from Georgia. The unit is very pleasant with a great bed. Now if I can only start sleeping longer. The only gripe I have is the refrigerator. It's old, noisy and missing a shelf. Fortunately I can't hear it in the bed room. The furniture is nice but a little low for me. I had twisted my back the day before I left and it is now fine. It was bothersome on the drive down. The only issue is my left hip. I hope the swimming and walking will do it some good.


I have been in the Gulf and the unheated pool swimming laps. I started out with two miles walking in the mornings and plan on being up to three miles by the 19Th of this month. Right now I want to build some stamina and improve my time.

Today, the Florida Ironman competition is taking place in Panama City Beach. I watched from my balcony as the 1100+ contestants hit the water this morning for the 2.4 mile swim. I did not see the bike part as it was out towards the west of the condo. I can see the marathon from the condo. I decided to stay put today. They should all be leaving tomorrow or Monday. They have clogged traffic since I arrived doing their training.

I have begun to psych myself up for next Friday's drive to Lafayette, LA. You see, I like to drive, but, I'm not sleeping well yet and I get groggy driving. Manuel is a good friend and he flew to Rhode Island for Marie's celebration, so I will go and stop often on the way. I started to research the lighthouses that would be easily accessable in New Orleans, but Katrina did them in. The others require chartering a boat or plane which I am not going to do.

Best Woman

"Best Woman" is a term that originated with my youngest daughter. She used it to describe my wife who was her "best woman" at her wedding.

Sandra, my wife's cousin, was our "best woman" 42 years ago. Sandra may be a cousin but they were more like sisters. They are about six months apart in age and their respective yards abutted for years until my wife's sister built her home in between. Sandra flew in from Denver to participate in our wedding.

Sandra's husband unexpectively passed away 23 days after my wife. After a couple of weeks, I called Sandra in the early evening. From my own experience, I knew that the time after dinner alone in the house was a hard time. Sandra and I talked that evening for about 45 minutes. We also picked a day where I would drive to her home (110 miles away) and we would have lunch. I brought picture albums and two more pair of Monet clip earrings for Sandra. Marie and Sandra are the only two women I know who never pierced their ears. Sandra was delighted when I originally gave her over 30 pair. It seems that their one time "girl talk" centered on the wonderful attributes of the Monet clip earring. Sandra made a delightful soup with a Panera bread. We looked at the pictures, laughted a lot and maybe got a little weepy too. It was a delightful day and I headed back to Rhode Island hoping I brightened our "best woman's" day. I know I was glad I went.

It's going to take time, but Sandra and I will heal and she will always be Marie's "best woman".

Medicare - Tilting at Windmills

I was pushed into retirement four years ago as my company was cutting costs and trying to increase profits. In hindsight I was very fortunate. The package was generous, I had turned 62 a week earlier, and my son looked at my finances and told me I would never have to work again if I did not want too. Two weeks later, my wife found her lump and we began what was going to only be a four year battle with cancer. Part of the package was a buy into the company medical plan for the two of us. A year ago when I turned 65, my wife went on a single plan through the company until she turned 65 or 18 months whichever came first. The cancer came back with a vengeance this past December. My wife turned 65 in July so Medicare B kicked in July 1st. Medicare A kicked in when MS caused her to be disabled a number of years ago. The company carried her until July 31st. The Medi-gap policy when into effect August 1st.

Herein was the problem, when the hospital and the nursing home billed Medicare, Medicare said Blue Cross was primary and of course Blue Cross said Medicare was primary. Both billing parties called me. I then began my quest with Medicare Coordination of Benefits. The first person who answered said I must put my wife on the phone to authorize me to speak for her. I explained that she passed away. She said, "I don't know that, I must protect her privacy". I was told that I would have to fax in a death certificate. I did that the same day and wait a couple of business days. So I did and got another person who once again said, I don't see a death certificate. I sent it. well it takes several days for it to be entered. I told her that the government could listen to my phone calls without a warrant, delve into my Internet wanderings and invade my privacy, but you won't help me clear this payment issue up. That's right. So I waited and called several days later and this time a wonderful woman answered. I explained my situation, she told me that the death certificate was not entered yet but she could help. She said she could see that the monthly social security benefits were stopped and that she had a different view of the privacy laws. She then asked a few questions and I listened while she keyed for several minutes. She finished by telling me she was sorry for my loss, and that I could tell the hospital and nursing home to wait 15 days and resubmit and that medicare was now primary and the bills would be paid. I told her she was an angel and a burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

Direct TV

When my wife went into the nursing home, the staff person directed me to Direct TV as the recommended supplier. I wanted to be able to have a connection for my wife to watch or listen to her beloved Red Sox. When I called, I made it quite clear that this was a month or two connection, three months if I was lucky while my wife was in the nursing home. At no time did this person tell me that I needed to commit to a year contract. The installer came, said nothing and left no paper work. I was quoted a monthly cost of $41.00. I cared not that the invoice was for $61.00 as my wife was slowly slipping away from me. In less than 30 days my wife lost her battle with cancer. I called to cancel the service and was told by a less than diplomatic man that I was obligated to pay a year fee for the converter. I explained the reason for the cancellation and that this was a nursing home, etc. Well he said you will be billed. Shortly thereafter, I received the invoice. Once again I called, and this time I encountered a more sympathetic person, who directed me to sent a copy of the bill and a copy of the death certificate to an address in Colorado. I did this immediately two weeks ago.

You can imagine my ire when I discovered Direct TV charged my credit card for the full amount. I then sent an email to my entire address book detailing my feelings regarding Direct TV. To add insult to injury, yesterday, I received a notice that if I did not pay immediately I would be charged $5.00 late fee. I immediately called, was on hold for 10 minutes, and fortunately was answered by a kind person. After listening to me tell her what I thought of her greedy unethical corporation, I did tell I realized she was a telebank operator, and irate people like me never get to talk to real management. She did tell me that the paperwork I sent may take 6 to 8 weeks to be entered into the system and that I "probably" will be refunded.

Time will tell. However, if I ever move to an area where it is Direct TV or nothing....It will be nothing, even if they give me back the money.

Alone

I am in my mid sixties and for the first time in my life, I am living alone. Cancer robbed me of the great love of my life a few weeks ago. I am fortunate that I am surrounded by memories and my dedicated children and their families. I am also blessed with a caring niece and my wife's cousin.

I have forced myself to cook fairly balanced meals and only occasionally have forgotten my meds. I read the paper when I go out for breakfast, that way I don't feel alone. I see several other men in my age group doing the same thing. Dinner out means sitting at the bar in the restaurant. They always have a TV on and the bar tender will almost always chat with the patrons at the bar. Very few introverts become bar tenders.

When I was working, I was required to travel to Europe and I was usually gone at least two weeks. I hated the travel as I was away from my family, but I knew it was a limited situation.

Now, I am alone in 9 rooms. I have decided that I will not make any sudden changes that I might regret in a year or two. The house will not be sold at least for the next year or two. I have seen apartment living and it does not appeal to me. My yard is filled with flowers and flowering trees and bushes. They were all planted by me at Marie's request. I feel the need to tend them a while longer. As sick as she was, she would ask me every day if her Rose of Sharon had bloomed. As soon as it did I brought the pictures to show her. All the blooms died the day after she passed.

Evening are the hardest time. I do not have the patients or concentration to watch much TV. I tape everything and then will watch the programs in short segments, stopping and returning when I feel like it.

I know this feeling will pass in time. Marie told me that I would be OK, and I will be.

Pissed

Last December my wife and I were told that her breast cancer had metastasized to her liver and lymph nodes in her chest after three good years. Three times I told the doctor that everyone I knew with liver cancer died in 6 months. No! No this is different, it's breast cancer not liver cancer. Cancel your trip to Florida, we will begin weekly treatments here and next winter you can continue in Florida.

So began the slow torture. For my wife it was the ache in all her bones caused by Herceptin, her appetite started to wane from nasea caused by Navelbien. Weekly that brave and determined woman went for her infusion of poison. After 10 weeks, another scan and the cancer continued to progress unchecked. "Oh" they said," we have another plan." We' ll couple Doxile with the Herceptin. 10 weeks later, another scan and the cancer progressed. I questioned the doctor about her weight loss. It was another person who gave her a so called appetite stimulant which did not work. Yet they had another plan involving 11 large pills a day. A combination of Tykerb and Xeloda. I believe the Tykerb may have stopped the progress in the liver. Every time I inquired about stopping, I was met with a harsh tone that it was always our right to stop treatment and indescribable body language suggesting that we were crazy.

On July 5th, my wife collapsed and was transported to the hospital with a high fever. At one point they were dosing her with 6 different antibiotics daily. Doctors of all disiplines poked, prodded, tested, and scaned looking for the source of the fever. I was told three different reasons for the fever. They finally broke the fever, and I was told once the fever is gone for 48 hours she must be discharged. She could no longer walk having lost over 40 pounds. A well meaning social worker gave me a list of nursing homes. I already knew where I wanted her to go. The ever hopeful (lying ass) doctor said, go, rehab, gain weight and we will start another plan. I had already been told that all the various chemos had damaged her heart.

Daily I watched my wife slip away. Her temperature came back. I don't think they really knew what caused the fever. The nursing home asked me what I wanted for my wife. I wanted her not to be in pain. The nursing home was fantastic.

On August 5th my sweet brave wife passed away. I left a message asking that the lead doctor call me. I said I had one brief question. I have not heard from him yet.

What happened? Why were we told that the treatments to control the cancer could happen in Florida next winter. They tried so many different combinations, I wonder if they were experimenting. They took away her quality of life and if it was hopeless and they knew it, I should have been told!

I am pissed!

Am I losing it?

On June 18Th I wrote two checks. One for Marie's first month on the Medicare part D for script coverage. The second for my monthly Blue Cross Medi-gap coverage. One was mailed to Kentucky, and mine was mailed locally. On June 20Th I received a letter from the local Blue Cross office stating that no check was received in the envelope. Did I put both checks in the envelope to Kentucky? Did I forget to write that check? Am I losing all powers of concentration as I care for my wife as she fights illness? All these questions nagged at me. I called them and they assured me that they are careful and no error could have occurred on their part. I decided not to put a stop payment on the check. I was not going to pay a fee to the bank. No one but Blue Cross could cash it. I would, therefore wait until the end of the month (after social security arrived) to re-write a check.

Almost every morning, while I wait for Marie to awake, I check credit card transactions and my checking account. This morning I discovered that the missing check cleared during the night. I called Blue Cross to insure that my account was properly credited and the phone was answered by a friendly voice who readily checked and verified my account was up to date. That is when I related my story and the letter. Then the tone became defensively polite.

I knew I wrote the check and sent it in the proper envelope. Vindication is mine!

An Act of Kindness

My medical plan offers a mail order script program. We get three months quantity and pay two months co-pay. This over time generates some savings. The company also offers an over the counter selection. My wife and I like their Senior Vitamin brand and have been using it for the last few years. Recently, I ordered another bottle of vitamins. I received notification that the order was received, saw that my credit card had been charged, but never received shipping notification. I made a mental note to call and check, but never did as I have more important things on my mind.

Last Wednesday, I received a phone call and a woman in haltingly English with a heavy oriental accent, asked me if I was so and so. Yes, I replied why do you ask? She replied" I have your vitamins, I mail to you". I told her she was very sweet and caring but should not have to use her money to fix a corporation error. I told her I would call the company and they would sent me another and she could keep the vitamins. I asked where she was calling from? Long Beach, California. Once again I told her to keep the vitamins. I called the company and they told me a replacement had been shipped UPS, and they did not know where the first shipment was. Last Friday, I received the vitamins from Long Beach in the mail, an hour later, UPS delivered the second bottle.

I am very impressed with the kind lady in Long Beach. Sunday, I went and bought a mailer. I retired from a well known pen manufacturer. Wednesday, a very nice pen will be on its way to Long Beach. An act of kindness brightened our day.

No regrets

I have been thinking about the decisions that were made by me over the years. Some I made, some were made for me, and others occurred because of my actions. After a lot of reflection there is only one thing I would change (if the Gods would let me). That will be saved for later.

The first decision made by my father for me was that I would attend Catholic grade school. I believe that the biggest misnomer in the world is "Sisters of Mercy". The second major decision he made was I would be an altar boy. So he was 50 - 50 on those two. If you have read earlier writings, you know I enjoyed the altar boy years. The next major decision was high school and the first time I ever said no to my father. He wanted Lasalle a Catholic High School. I was sick of Irish nuns smacking me and damn sure did not want Irish Brothers doing it. I had / have a flippant mouth.

I liked high school, it was mostly Jewish and Italian kids and we were all nerds. 99.99 % of the graduates went to college. My class produced over 40 doctors and almost as many lawyers. I was good in Math and my father had three engineering degrees. It was decreed! I would be an Engineer. It was not me who filled out the application, I just signed where he told me too. I wanted to take a year off before college. He could not understand my not wanting to be an Engineer. He bought me the best slide rule money could buy. It cost over $300. in 1959. It had a genuine leather case. I took the courses he picked out. I was also told that I would go ROTC, that way he would not have to pay for the last two years. That first semester taught me two things, I did not like the Army and I hated Engineering. Back then URI had Saturday classes. I had an 8 AM Phys ed class which explains why I flunked it. I was usually too hung over or still drunk so I never went on Saturday. Finally I just never went the other days. I did manage to do C or better in the rest. There was no way I would return to Engineering for the second semester. I wanted to change to Business. No way will I pay for that, he stated. Christmas 1959 was a difficult time in the household. This was the second major time that I refused his direction.
Three days before the second semester started, I joined the Navy. I was guaranteed a school and I picked three from Naval Aviation. Sounded glamorous to me, more importantly, I was free. Dad told me that I just ruined my life.

I ended up in a sea going squadron attached to USS Saratoga a then four year old aircraft carrier. I was lucky, I flew aboard to join my squadron. I stayed in the same unit for the rest of my enlistment. I grew up on that flight deck. I made the closest and dearest friends of my life and I am still in contact with some of them. It was the most exciting and dangerous place I've ever been. I worked 5 PM to 5 AM. I loved it. My wife refers to those years as the best four years of my life. I visited the major ports in the Med, climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa when I was 19, saw some of the best art museums in Europe. I was on the Cuban Blockade., I was sent temporary duty in the hills of Greece with the Greek Air Force. Cannes in the summertime...priceless. Two Christmas Eve's in Cannes also very nice. I made rank quickly, E5 in less than 30 months. I started thinking about a career in the Navy. I was never home sick. There was nothing I wanted in Rhode Island.

Then I tangled with the Jacksonville Police. What should have been a harmless traffic stop, turned ugly, when one cop said to the other dummy, well we got a swabie, and look he's a Yankee to boot. I was not drunk, but had been drinking. I got shoved against my car, and I shoved back. I think I mentioned the two of them together did not have an IQ that matched my weight. (130 back then). Of course I went to jail for the weekend. It was a maturing experience, I was pushed around by the dummies in the station. I pleaded no contest to a DUI and the shoving and whatever else on both sides was dropped. Mom and Dad sent the money and I was released sadder but probably no wiser. The Navy took a stripe and all thoughts of a career ended. From that point on, I was doing time waiting for the discharge. Hence when discharged, I came back to Rhode Island and met my wife a few months later. If I had stayed in college and ROTC, I would have graduated with a commission in the US Army and would very probably have served in Nam. Funny how some things work out.

I started college at nights, planning on switching to days in a year. Marriage and children changed the plan. Seven years later, I received my degree in Business. I asked my Dad to come to graduation. He asked if I was getting a degree in Engineering. I said you know I'm not, then he told me he was busy that day. Four years later I received my MBA. I had made the decision that my children would see their grandparents often. I did not want to have regrets when they passed on. I also wanted my kids to know their Grandparents. This is a decision I do not regret. My dad never made it easy, I was not qualified to even put a quart of oil in his car when he no longer could. I just smiled at him. He once told me how surprised he was that I could support my family as well as I could, not being an Engineer. I just smiled at him.

My children - I wanted four daughters before I got married. Once my wife was pregnant, it changed to just healthy baby. First a daughter, then 3 1/2 years later a boy. That second pregnancy took a lot out of my wife. The doctor commented that we had one of each, and maybe we should be satisfied. Nope, my wife said she would not be fulfilled until she had a third. I had no say, hell if she wanted 5 or 6, I would have said yes. I'm not good at saying no to her. I came home from work about 2 1/2 years later and she announced that she was expecting and wanted an air conditioned station wagon. that night we ordered the biggest Ford Country Squire made. My third and second daughter arrived. Then the doctor told me that one more and I might raise them alone. My wife was fulfilled, therefore I was also. I adore my wife and children. I love each and every grandchild and I am constantly amazed at how unique each one is, yet I am part of them.

If I could go back and change one thing, I would never have started smoking. Quitting was the hardest thing I ever did . . . several times until I got it done. I'm glad I got busted in the Navy, I might have never met the love of my life and created this great family.

Yes, I omitted some things ... good and bad. This is not a life story. I have no regrets.

Pay Phones

I was asked to sit with my two grandsons while my youngest and her husband visited with a doctor. I started reading one of the children books left in the back pack in the hopes that I could be successful in amusing the boys. The second book was about a dog accused of kidnapping two cats. Well one page had a picture of a pay phone with the receiver hanging by the cord. "what's that?" Well it's a pay phone. I could tell by his young face that I would have to do better than that. Well, long ago before cell phones, pay phones were strategically located through out the country. "What's strategic?" Hmm this could be going better... wonder how soon mom will be done. Well strategic means places where lots of people will pass by and need to use a phone to call someone. I could see several people smiling and watching me explain this to a five year old who needs to know everything. You see, Vaughan, people did not have cell phones, so they would pick up the pay phone and press it to their ear, put coins in the slot and then they could dial a number and talk to someone. Now that almost every body have cell phones, the phone company removed them because they weren't being used. Vaughan said, " I remember seeing one". Well they are still located in airports, bus and train stations, but not on street corners anymore. He nodded his head. Whew, that's done. Mom and dad appeared a few minutes later. The boys had been patient for 50 minutes and they were starting to get antsy. I looked at Vaughan and said your bored. Yes, I am. A few minutes later, when mom appeared she asked if they were good, before I could answer, Vaughan said we're bored. I told her that they were good. Its not easy to sit in a waiting room for an hour without running off youthful energy.

I hope I'm asked to sit again.

Donald William Cors

Donnie was a Plane Captain working the night shift aboard the USS Saratoga. We were close friends. We worked the same shift as Plane Captains of the A4D Skyhawk attached to VA 36. We slept in the same berthing area, we played polka in the same games. We hit the beach together. This was our last cruise as both of us would be discharged before the next cruise. Donnie is in my thoughts often and especially today as we honor veterans.

Donnie was killed on the flight deck one miserable night. It was late in the cruise, there was a storm close by. The sea was such that the Sara was bouncing more than usual. The flights are on a schedule, you launch a group and then immediately recover the previous launch. The fuel loads in the planes require precision. That night it was so dark that you could not see the outline of your hand against the night sky. My plane was in normal maintenance on the hangar deck. I would go up on the flight deck during recovery and help with the servicing of the recovered planes, and then return to the hangar deck to be with my plane if it needed to be moved. The last launch was running late. The deck was heaving more than usual. The returning planes were circling the ship, many in trouble with low fuel. The decision was made to scrap the launch and pull the planes forward to prepare to recover the planes aloft. Donnie was with his plane on the aft catapults. The Air Boss apparently gave permission to a plane from VF 31 to land. The plane came in and landed on the planes on the aft cats. I was standing in the hangar looking out at the sea when I saw a massive ball of flame and heard the crash. The ship immediately went to general quarters. My GQ station was my plane. A number of burning planes were pushed over the side into the sea. I was standing near the elevator when they brought Donnie down on the stretcher. I did not realize that he had already died, he looked so peaceful. Apparently the wheel of the landing plane hit him and he died instantly. Donnie died serving his country. There was not a declared war, we were just part of the normal show of force in the Mediterranean as part of the "chess" game played during the "Cold War". His name is not on any wall. Donnie, I think of you often, and especially today.

A board of inquiry was held and although the Air Boss tried to blame the enlisted radioman, the audio tapes proved he had given permission to the plane to land. He was relieved of his duties and left the ship soon after. Two other flight deck workers were killed that night.

My thoughts on energy

I am, by no means, not an expert on why energy is so costly. I do, however, have some thoughts on why.

First, usually at this time of year some refinery capacity is off line for maintenance. Right now there is four times the normal capacity off line, further reducing the available gasoline at a time when gas demand rises. High demand - limited supply equals higher prices. There have been no new refineries build in the US since the 1970's. Have there been proposals...yes. The ecology folks rise up to oppose, the local citizens don't want a refinery in their back yard. I suspect that it would be a costly fight to get approval. My opinion on this is partially shaped on the current pissing contest going on over the proposal to expand the natural gas terminal on the Taunton River between Fall River and Somerset, Massachusetts. One of these years, we will have a harsh winter and the same folks will want to know why they may not have sufficient supplies to keep warm. This past winter there was a delay in getting a propane tankers into the Providence port. Some rural folks were affected, and some ran out.

I certainly have no answers. I do know that I will pay the piper for the gas I need.