Pissed

Last December my wife and I were told that her breast cancer had metastasized to her liver and lymph nodes in her chest after three good years. Three times I told the doctor that everyone I knew with liver cancer died in 6 months. No! No this is different, it's breast cancer not liver cancer. Cancel your trip to Florida, we will begin weekly treatments here and next winter you can continue in Florida.

So began the slow torture. For my wife it was the ache in all her bones caused by Herceptin, her appetite started to wane from nasea caused by Navelbien. Weekly that brave and determined woman went for her infusion of poison. After 10 weeks, another scan and the cancer continued to progress unchecked. "Oh" they said," we have another plan." We' ll couple Doxile with the Herceptin. 10 weeks later, another scan and the cancer progressed. I questioned the doctor about her weight loss. It was another person who gave her a so called appetite stimulant which did not work. Yet they had another plan involving 11 large pills a day. A combination of Tykerb and Xeloda. I believe the Tykerb may have stopped the progress in the liver. Every time I inquired about stopping, I was met with a harsh tone that it was always our right to stop treatment and indescribable body language suggesting that we were crazy.

On July 5th, my wife collapsed and was transported to the hospital with a high fever. At one point they were dosing her with 6 different antibiotics daily. Doctors of all disiplines poked, prodded, tested, and scaned looking for the source of the fever. I was told three different reasons for the fever. They finally broke the fever, and I was told once the fever is gone for 48 hours she must be discharged. She could no longer walk having lost over 40 pounds. A well meaning social worker gave me a list of nursing homes. I already knew where I wanted her to go. The ever hopeful (lying ass) doctor said, go, rehab, gain weight and we will start another plan. I had already been told that all the various chemos had damaged her heart.

Daily I watched my wife slip away. Her temperature came back. I don't think they really knew what caused the fever. The nursing home asked me what I wanted for my wife. I wanted her not to be in pain. The nursing home was fantastic.

On August 5th my sweet brave wife passed away. I left a message asking that the lead doctor call me. I said I had one brief question. I have not heard from him yet.

What happened? Why were we told that the treatments to control the cancer could happen in Florida next winter. They tried so many different combinations, I wonder if they were experimenting. They took away her quality of life and if it was hopeless and they knew it, I should have been told!

I am pissed!