Land Line

When I was ready to leave Florida for the Northern home, I called ahead to Cox Communications to "wake up" my service. My desire was also to control the cost of cable, Internet and phone service. I told the phone representative that I did not want long distance service but did want to be able to call within Rhode Island with no added cost. He assured me that would be the case. You can imagine my ire when I found out how much I was being charged for long distance in the smallest state. To call my mom, son at home or work I was being charged. As I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that I would just cancel the home phone. I had that number since 1965 when I first married. It followed me from the first apartment to the home I built in 1968. The Cox representative did his best to talk me out of doing it. Both Carol and I have cell phones. I have only gone over my monthly minutes once in 8 years and then I used roll over minutes. It has been about a month and I do not miss that land line. In fact, the physical phones were given to my Massachusetts daughter for her use. There will be no going back. It has become very peaceful. No charities or scams calling. I am careful about who gets the number. Family, Navy pals and necessary services only.

Ocracoke Lighthouse

Ocracoke Lighthouse is the second oldest lighthouse on the Outer Banks. There are no bridges to this Island. Access is best via a short ferry ride from Cape Hatteras or a longer ferry from Cedar Island or from Swan quarter. In the early 16Th century this island became a favorite hangout for the notorious pirate Blackbeard.









The ferry boats depart Cape Hatteras and Ocracoke on the hour every hour. The ferry on the left is heading to Cape Hatteras and Carol and I are heading towards Ocracoke. As you can see it was an overcast day and also quite windy. The ferries run more often during the heavy summer tourist season. Delivery trucks have first priority. We were fortunate in that we made the ferry each time we got in line. The scenery along the ferry route is interesting. There is a sand bar teeming with shore birds and the waves crashing on the sand bar were impressive.




It was a cool day but we elected to move around the ferry during the trip and experience the sights and smell the salt sea air. Carol was like a small child in a candy shop loving every minute of this new experience.

Once on Ocracoke we drove towards along route 12 until we got to the turn off for the lighthouse. After much picture taking we headed back towards the ferry landing. We stopped at a very quaint restaurant for lunch. We arrived just in time to catch the ferry back to Cape Hatteras. There we parked and walked out to the beach. The tip of Cape Hatteras on a dark stormy day could be liken to the tip of the end of the world where sand, sky and water seem to merge together.

Kitty Hawk - Outer Banks North Carolina

Carol and I visited the Outer Banks in April. Besides visiting four Outer Banks Lighthouses, we spent the better part of a morning in the Wrights Brothers National Park Museum. In 2003, a wealthy donor commissioned a bronze replica of the historic plane forthe hundredth anniversary celebration. On the day we visited, the wind was blowing hard, fixing in our minds why the Wright brothers picked this location to attempt the first flight.



Orville is depicted at the controls as he prepared for what would become the first powered flight.

While the first flight only lasted 12 seconds and covered 120 feet, it began the era of flight. It was shortly there after that Wilbur flew the unheard of distance of 852 feet and was airborne for 59 seconds.

There is much more to see and do here. The main building houses an exact replica of the first plane with the canvas and wood frame. They have a cutaway of the engine with a description of the wright brothers design. A movie is shown periodically through out the day and they have portraits of persons who have accomplished milestones in aviation on the outer walls of this room.

On the grounds there are replicas of their living quarters and the hangar for the plane. There is a memorial tower high on a hill commemorating that historic accomplishment. I have been here several times and the exhibit is always expanding.

The gift shop is always worth a visit.

Coffee Milk

Coffee milk is the "official" drink of Rhode Island. Once out of the Rhode Island area the idea of coffee milk becomes an illusive product. When I was first out of the Navy boot camp and stationed in Memphis, TN for my Jet Mechanic school I asked for a glass of coffee milk at a local restaurant. The waitress in her Southern drawl asked "Honey do you want a glass half full of coffee and the rest milk?" I soon realized that it would be awhile before I would get coffee milk.

Coffee milk is white milk with a portion of coffee syrup added to the milk. The syrup is made by extracting liquid from coffee beans. The syrup is widely available in the Rhode Island area and is also available for shipping where ever displaced Rhode Islanders may be. I know this as a few years ago I had a case shipped to the condo I was renting in Panama City Beach, FL. Coffee syrup is akin to the chocolate syrup that is more universally available. Premixed coffee milk is available in the supermarkets here in Rhode Island along side chocolate and strawberry flavored milk

Pictured is a bottle of the preferred syrup that I use to make my evening glass of coffee milk. I prefer to mix my own rather than buying the coffee milk in the market. I like a stronger mixture. I have tried to spread the word and the enjoyment of this Rhode Island icon beyond our Northern borders. Carol's daughters in Tallahassee, FL and Elsie, MI seem to like it. My old Navy shipmate in Georgia did not take to it.

Coffee milk is truly a Rhode Island drink and should you travel here, order a glass in a restaurant. You just might like it.

4 answers

This is a questionnaire that I saw on another blog some time in the past. Here goes:

4 jobs I had

Jet mechanic U S Navy
Fueling aircraft - local airport
Programmer
Manager Information Systems Services US & Europe

4 Movies I love to watch

The Cowboys - John Wayne
All the Bourne movies
Rob Roy
Up Periscope

4 Places I've lived

Greenville, Rhode Island
NAS Cecil Field, Jacksonville, FL
North providence, Rhode Island
Panama City beach, FL

4 TV shows I enjoy

Bones
NCIS
Saving Grace
Law and Order Criminal Intent

4 Places I've been

Climbed the leaning Tower of Pisa
French Riviera in August
The Badlands South Dakota
Custer's last Stand Battlefield

4 Websites I visit daily

Boatnerd.com about the freighter traffic on the Great Lakes
The camera at the Soo Locks
My bank in Rhode Island
Amy's blog

4 Favorite foods

Cheeseburgers
Pasta and meatballs
Rare steak
Baked sweet potato

4 Places I'd rather be

London
Cannes, France in August
Out at sea aboard an aircraft carrier on the flight deck
Whitefish Point on the UP

4 Places I'd like to visit

Australia
Columbia River Gorge
All the National Parks in Utah
I like to see the Redwood trees

4 People I would have liked to meet

Ben Franklin
Abraham Lincoln
General George Patton
Yogi Berra

Opposites Attract ??

Carol and I met over 18 months ago. She was a self-employed seamstress and I was a retired upper level manager. Both of us had been extended caretakers in our previous marriages. Both of us were use to being completely in charge. We both did the marketing, the menu planning, the cooking. We both handled all the cleaning of the home, laundry and whatever. In so many ways we were alike but not in all ways.

OK, Carol had a guy that cut her grass, and I had a lady that came every two weeks and did certain areas of house cleaning. There are times when we bang heads especially in the kitchen. We are getting better at coordinating our movements and how we spice foods. I have adapted to her "magic" bottle of spices. She does not like my oil and vinegar salad dressing that I prepare nightly. I do like a strong vinegar mixture that she finds harsh. I am now 99% eating healthy breads, muffins and frozen waffles with only an occasional white roll. I am eating a greater variety of fresh vegetables and less red meat (heavy sigh). We have adapted well to one another in our diets. She must start her day with hot coffee, I have a cold diet coke. I use vinegar on french fries, Carol tried it and has reverted back to ketchup.

I now install the toilet paper her way and she folds the bath towels my way. She was exasperated when she saw that I would just drop my under shirts into the drawer unfolded. She now folds my underwear and t-shirts. We hang our shirts and jackets facing in opposite directions. Mind always face to the right and hers to the left. Sometimes I have to hang hers a second time because I automatically do it the way I always do, then I see it does not match the rest of her clothes. I like my bath towels dried outside on the clothes line and hers must be in the dryer. She refers to my towels as sand paper. An opinion shared with the next door neighbor. She handles the heat better than I and I handle the cold better. However we both agree that we will avoid Rhode Island winters from now on.

I have always had itchy feet and like to be on the go. Carol has been an eager partner in our road trips. Carol is like a kid in a candy store drinking in the scenery where ever we are. I am always planning the next two trips.

We love each other and we love our combined family. Admittedly I received more "new" family than Carol received from me. However she did say my mom was the best Mother-in-law she ever had.

So as we forge ahead in our life together we seem to be on the same page more often than not. But Viva la difference where we are not.

Aiden Michael

Last fall when Carol and I found out that there would be an addition to our combined family I promised her that she would hold the baby before he / she would be 30 days old. Based on the best information of due dates, we planned on leaving Rhode Island for Michigan on May 31st. It was iffy there for a while if the new grandson ( we now knew it would be a boy) would arrive in time by June 1st. Aiden Michael arrived on May 26Th in all his glory. The above picture was taken on June 1st in his beaming Grandma's arms.

On this road trip we would eventually drive 5,150 miles through 18 states. We decided to drive the U. S. route rather than entering Canada in Niagara Falls to Port Huron, MI. It would have been the shortest route, but we had already done that the year before. So we headed out the Mass. Pike through upstate New York and our first night was spent in Erie, Pennsylvania.

While here we took the opportunity to visit two lights. Pictured here is the Erie Pierhead Light.

From the same location we were able to view the Erie Land Light. Both lights are easily viewed from a small park and playground. We were the only ones there and it was a very peaceful location.

Our second day took us through Ohio. They are very serious about enforcing the speed limits. No, I did not get a ticket in Ohio or anyplace else. I did not take the bypass around Cleveland. I wanted Carol to see the "Jake" which is the nick name of Jacobs Field where the Cleveland Indians play baseball. The stadium looms over the highway. We arrived in Birch Run, Michigan mid afternoon in the 1st. We were in a pet friendly hotel. The pet friendly designated rooms were OK. Small but clean. We were staying in a different area this trip. I wanted to go to Darlene's to make sure we could be on time in the morning. We were going to take Darlene and Aiden to his first appointment with the pediatrician.

Naturally, we both wanted to see Aiden and the rest of the family as soon as possibe. So even though we had been in the car a good part of the day we went. Elsie, Michigan brings a whole new meaning to the middle of no-where. Don't get me wrong, this is a beautiful spot in America. Beautifully groomed farms with the new crops beginning another cycle. It's just way out there.

The next morning we were on time. I had a bad night and did not sleep well. While they went into the examing room, I had good intentions of taking a walk. Apprently, I fell asleep. I must have slept for about 40 minutes and when I opened my eyes and looked around, I asked the nurse if the Doctor was there. She assured me she was and that Grandpa could go back to sleep. I am glad that no one else was in the waiting room.

While we were Birch Run, Carol and I visited Frankenmuth and Bonner's. Bonner's may be the largest Christmas store in the world. More some other time. We walked around Frankenmuth one morning. One evening we drove up to Midland and visited Carol's grandaughter and great grandaughter.

It was here that we had the worse meal of the trip in Tony's Restaurant in Birch Run. Apparently it is a very popular place. The quanity was overwhelming, but the quality was definitely lacking.

We did have the opportunity to have dinner with my cousin from Utica. He drove up and met us at the hotel. I must admit that the Local Applebee's impressed me.

We were originally going to drop down through Ohio into Kentucky. Darlene suggested going down into Indiana. It was a good choice. We stayed in a Drury Inn, a pet friendly hotel that does not charge extra for the dog. This Drury Inn was located in Bowling Green, Kentucky

We arrived the next day at our Florida home in Panama City Beach. It was 88 degrees. From then on the highs were in the 90's everyday. We were originally going to stay for about a week, leaving after another grandaughters birthday. The weather in Rhode Island was cool (cold to Carol) and rainy. Todd agreed to cut my grass and we stayed for another week.

On our journey North we stayed two night with one of my oldest and dearest friend and his wife in Pembroke, Georgia. We were Navy buddies working the night shift on the flight deck of the U S S Saratoga. We stopped one more night on the road and were back in Rhode Island.

During that trip we saw three of Carol's children, 10 grandchildren, and three great grandchildren. We were gone 25 days.

Tiny

Tiny is a five pound Chihuahua loaded with attitude. He is somewhere between 15 and 16 years of age. He was a rescue. My wife is a soft touch for Chihuahuas and has had many over the years. Tiny has been her "little guy" for about 14 years.

This morning Tiny knew that (in his mind) bad something was going to occur. You see, I took all his bedding out of his bed (crate) to be washed along with his favorite blanket. He likes to burrow into the blanket until it is like a cocoon with him buried inside it. Tiny has a fairly good vocabulary and when the B word (bath) was said he went and hid under the desk.

As you can see, Tiny is definitely not happy. He hates to be wet. He hates the rain. He has this down trodden look the whole time. He seems to know when he has the most lather, as that is the moment he chooses to shake soap suds all over us.

Ha! gotcha with the soap. No, he is not being choked. If his head stays still, he can't shake

If looks could kill, Carol and I would be dead. Even in his towel he is still irritated. He knows that the hair dryer is next followed by his ear drops and lastly another favorite, his breath spray.

The little prince is on his pillow. His coat looks shiny and healthy. It should, we use a medicated shampoo that comes from the vet's office. He is worth it. He provides Carol with unconditional love and he can be very amusing.

Panama City Beach

My wife and I bought a house in Panama City Beach three months ago. We had appointments in Rhoda Island and left early April. Carol's daughter in Elsie, Michigan had a baby boy May 26Th. On May 31st we set out for Elsie, well we stayed in Birch Run, Michigan 35 miles away. It was the closest pet friendly and acceptable motel for us. I decided we should go to our Florida home for a week or so. RI was having a cool rainy spring. We arrived here to mid 80 degree weather. Little did I know that would be one of the cooler days. Mostly it has been high 80's low 90's since then. Fortunately, our house is about 1/2 mile from the Gulf as the crow flies and about a mile via the two streets to park at the beach. So the breeze off the Gulf may not be real cool, it is refreshing and a brief respite from the heat.

Lately our daily routine has been up early and over to the beach by 8 AM. I swim for about 30 minutes I drip dry in the already hot sun while I watch the progress on the rebuild of the county pier. The prior one was destroyed by hurricanes. It is fascinating to watch the two cranes pass big buckets filled with concrete out to the outer part of the pier to be poured in the forms. On the way back to the house I drop Carol off at the complex pool. Even though she gets wet in the Gulf, She does not swim. She does not like getting her face splashed by the waves. I go much farther out than she does. She likes early at the pool . . . no children that early. Both of us were bothered in the Gulf this morning by little fish nipping at our bodies. They don't hurt, but are a bother.

The rest of our days are spent doing errands, trying to plan our evening meal. Evening meals are a real challenge. I am basically a meat and potato guy. Carol has decided to pretty much eliminate meat from her diet. She might have a small taste of chicken or fish.

Carol has a borrowed bike and tries to ride in the evening depending on the heat index. Last night she rode for about 30 minutes and upon arrival back announced when I buy a bike in September it is going to have a better seat. My butt is sore. I sat in a lawn chair and enjoyed what little breeze there was while she was riding. I am not doing as well as she with the heat.

We spend time on our respective laptops and have watched a number of movies on DVD as we do not have cable here yet. That will be another topic. For now, there were some good ones and a couple of real dogs. There is no end in sight for the 90's here. The locals refer to these temperatures as August weather.

Scenes from Palm Cove

Carol and I purchased a home in Palm Cove this past March. Palm Cove is a gated community, although I have never seen the gate lowered. I'm told that it is closed late evening. We are not a senior community. So there is a mixture of young and retired families and every thing in between.

Above is the entrance leading towards the gate. It is very pleasant and pleasing entrance to the community. In the distance is the gate house. There is a security guard at night. I have never seen him. Below is a better view of the gate house. At night it is lighted and the chandelier is very attractive.

The grounds are tastefully decorated and well manicured. Watering is done via three community wells and does not affect our already high water / sewer bill. Water is very dear here in Florida than it is in Rhode Island. The cost of electricity however, is lower so it may be a wash.

This is representative of the Palm trees located throughout the complex. This Palm is located on the corner of our street.

This Oleander shrub is across the street from our house.

I have no idea what this fern like thing that is just outside our front door. It is pretty and I hope to learn what it is.

This is our street here in Panama City Beach, Florida. As you can surmise, this last picture was taken on trash day. Trash is picked up twice a week.

Based on the short time that we have lived in the house, it is a very quiet neighborhood. Those neighbors that I have met seem friendly and nice. There are several transient young men and women on our street that are here on work visas. Based on their language I believe they are from former Soviet Bloc countries. They are quiet and shy. I have not been able to engage them in conversation. The most I can get is a soft "good morning" or a hello.

Finally the view as you leave.

214 Steps

Currituck Light

There are 214 steps to reach the walkway around the top of Currituck Lighthouse located on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. This light is the only unpainted brick light on the Outer Banks. The day that we arrived to view this light it was open for climbing. I had been here several times and this was the first time climbing was allowed. We were the last couple allowed to climb as the winds were gusting well over 40 knots. Surprisingly, the climb went very well. There are landings about every 12 feet. These allow climbers to pass those coming down. The stairwells are not very wide.

Once we arrived at the top, we were rewarded with an amazing view. The wind was awesome and a little bit un-nerving. When the gusts hit me, I needed to hold onto the railing to steady myself. Carol chose to stand in the doorway rather than step out into the wind. In one direction we could see the Atlantic Ocean slapping the beach with wind driven waves, another view was along the road towards Duck with all the homes. The view I liked best was of Currituck Sound and the Private club in the distance.

I have climbed several Lighthouse towers but Currituck Light is the highest one that I have climbed. We spent several days on the Outer Banks as we traveled North from our home in Florida to Rhode Island. We visited Bodie Island Light, Cape Hatteras Light and Oracoke Light. Those were not open for climbing.

Memorial Day

I have always been pleased that I enlisted in the Navy so long ago. I truly enjoyed my four years. The only confrontation (if you could call it that) was the Cuban Blockade. On this day as on previous Memorial Days, I always remember several men who died for their country that I knew and were close too.

My uncle Pvt. Bart Satti who survived the Normandy beach invasion on D-Day, climbed the bluff only to die during the night from mortar fire. I was too young to remember him.

Airman Donald W. Cors, a fellow plane captain in V A 36. He died one night on the flight deck when the Air Boss made a fatal mistake and gave permission for a plane to land before the planes on the deck were clear of the landing area. Two others died on the flight deck that night.

Lt. Kenneth Cameron who was a pilot in V A 36 when I knew him. He later went on to fly missions in Viet Nam. He was shot down and died in "Hanoi Hilton". He was posthumously promoted to Captain.

Harold "Fuzzie" Fontenot a career sailor whose subsequent duty after V A 36 was aboard the USS Forestal. He died in that horrific fire that killed over 170 sailors during the Viet Nam conflict.

I remember all those who served and made the ultimate sacrifice.

Savannah Harbor Light

It has been a little over a year since my last posting. I often thought about writing a new blog but was always too busy or figured that my ramblings were of no interest. Life has been interesting and taken a turn that I did not expect. In January of 08, I met a lady in Florida. A long story short we connected and she agreed to come to Rhode Island for the summer. We went back to Florida at the end of last October. We married this past valentine's day. when we started to get serious, I asked her to name some places that she always wanted to visit. I figured we would go to someplace in Europe. Nope! She after two days asked to visit Niagara Falls and to tour Savannah. Niagara falls was visited last September as we were on our way to Michigan.

We decided to tour Savannah on our way North in early April. I have a very dear Navy buddy that lives near Savannah. We stayed with them and went into Savannah for the trolley tour. This was my third time and her first. The trolley allows easy on-off at designated stops for the day. We did all the touristy stops, the Juliet Low home, The Cathedral, the many homes with the intricate wrought iron fences. Even thought I had been here before, I never realized that there was a navigation light in Savannah proper. It is the Savannah Harbor light. As you can see it does not stand out as a typical light designed to aid navigation. It is an ornamental cast iron shaft overlooking the Savannah River located in Emmet Park. In 1858 the lighthouse board erected this beacon whose gas light shone from a focal plane of 77 feet. This light easily seen from the trolley as it passes by the park. The best way is to exit the trolley on River Street and walk up to the park. You can either walk up the cobble stone road or climb the century old stone stairs. We elected to climb the stairs but walked down the road. The stairs offer no railing and the risers are of varying heights.

River Street offers a blend of antique shops, touristy souvenir shops and variety of casual dining opportunities. This is also the location of the statue of the Savannah waving girl, Florence Marcus. As the story goes, she went down to the harbor daily to wave to the arriving ships waiting for her sailor to return. I expect that we will do the Savannah tour again. One day does not do justice to the many parks, homes and shops.

February in Retrospect

February was a most interesting month. I am fortunate in that I made great life long friends while I was in the Navy in the early 60's. One of those friends arrived for a visit on February 2nd. Mike Baca was originally from Denver and now lives in Mesa, Arizona. Last June he was riding his bicycle and was hit by a car running a red light. He spent most of last summer in the hospital and then physical rehab. He was here for 10 days. When I told him I would take him to see the highest waterfall (97 feet) in Florida he was quite skeptical. Once there he saw that the water fell into a sinkhole. The park has a walkway that winds it way around several sinkholes. We also visited Ponde de Leon State Park. Here 14 million gallons of water seeps up through the limestone each 24 hours. The water is at a constant 68 degrees. Even though we had both been to the Naval Aviation Museum in past years, we visited the museum in Pensacola. It was a nice day and we saw many of the planes that were on The Saratoga when we were aboard. Mike likes to walk the beach and each afternoon he would walk for several hours. I would swim while he was gone. Mike got his legs wet once. We also were able to see an alligator suning in St. Andrews State Park. I was sorry to see Mike leave. we really enjoyed our time together. It is hard to believe so many years have passed since that day in January, 1964 when we were both discharged from the Navy.

I also took a lady friend to see the waterfall after Mike left. She has lived on the Panhandle for over 30 years and never visited the waterfall.

There have been several violent storms over the last two weeks. We have been under "tornado watches" so often, that I no longer pay attention. In one 36 hour period, we had over 10" of rain. So many roads were washed out, that all of the schools in this county were cancelled. I am staying on Thomas Drive and for a short period of time both ends of the road were closed because of flooding.

I also had a nasty something. No temperature but the worse sore throat in many years and a hacking cough. I was only laid up for two days, but it was a good week before I really felt better.

I have been faithful to walking and swim in the Gulf when it is warm. The locals say it has been a cool winter, especially February.

I visited a local real estate office and asked if they had about 1o homes for sale under 200k. I wanted 3 beds, 2 full baths and at least 1 garage. She brought up over 160 homes. I picked 12 and have been driving by them. Several locals have told me thet the market will continue to drop. I have decided to wait until next winter and see then. I would like a Florida base and a Rhode Island base. Panama City Beach would be my choice. I have grown to like the area.

Honda recall

I received mail from the Honda recall center. The first thought was, I'll be stuck at a strange Honda dealer away from home. I know where the Honda dealer is. It's on a stretch of road with a number of other dealers. There really is no place to go, you are stuck in their waiting room. So as I was reading that the spring that controls the rotation of the cutting blades needs to be replaced as it may fail, I wondered what blades. It was then I realized that this is for my lawn mower, not my car. Ha, I thought, who cares. It hurts my arthritic hands to hold the control closed so I tie it closed and it keeps the blades engaged. I have never bothered to stop the blades on this or any other lawn mower. I suppose I will have it fixed when I get back home, but I won't be in any hurry.

The Florida Primary

Next Tuesday (January 29Th), the Florida primary will take place. There will not be a Democratic primary as Florida had the audacity to change their date. The Democratic National Party pulled a pout and said they would not seat the delegates from Florida. So all the Democratic canidates agreed not to come here. Kind of a "head in the sand" approach. The underlying reason may be that Florida will be a RED state so why waste campaign dollars. Works for me. There will far less aggravating political ads and I will not have to listen to her screeching voice.

The Republican candidates are very active in Florida. Following are my observations:

Mitt Romney ~ He has too much personal money and he spends freely. His ads are incessant with the same message, over and over and over. I could care less about his religion, but I have grown to really dislike HIM. He claims he knows how to take apart Washington and put it back together. Yeah, right. He ought to get a lot of cooperation from the other side of the aisle.

Rudy ~ he seems to have run his course. His campaign is low on cash. He acted like a spoiled child when the Daytona Race track would not let him drive the pace car. Hell, his own children don't talk to him and probably will not vote for him. Why should I? Rudy, your time has come and gone.

John McCain ~ His campaign is cash poor. His popularity is growing and gaining momentum. His TV ads are informative, but few and far in between. I have always like him. He flew A4's during Viet Nam. I worked on A4's in the Navy. I think he has the right stuff. He is weak on immigration and I don't agree with him there.

Ron Paul ~ A strick constitutionist. I think he would be the right man to put the United States back on the right track fiscally. He has the same chance as that "snowball" from you know where. He also has little cash.

Huckabee ~ He has a certain appeal to a select group. His campaign is low on funds. His religion does bother me. Also as Governor he pardoned way too many criminals. Some of whom caused great harm after release. He is usually good for a one liner that gets a chuckle.

I'll be glad when Tuesday is over and they all leave.

Ponce de Leon State Park

Although I want the home team (Patriots) to win, I rarely watch. Today after lunch I drove out to the Ponce de Leon State Park. Its about 50 miles from the condo. Today was blessed with bright sunshine which did little to cut the wind lowering the 43 degree afternoon temperature. I had been here before with my wife a few years ago. The honor system was in effect and I gladly put the $3.00 in the envelope.

This park is directly above a thick layer of limestone. Over the years holes have developed in the limestone. 14 million gallons of crystal clear water at a constant temperature of 68 degrees seeps up everyday. Years ago native Indians believed that the waters possessed healing powers and they would camp periodically to enjoy these benefits.

There are now ramps and stairs with railings to aid folks to enter the pool to enjoy the waters. Additionally, walkways with bridges over the moving streams were built so visitors can walk throughout the woodlands. Yesterday this area received over an inch of badly needed rain. Unfortunately, the moving water is overflowing the walkways and bridges and only a small part of the trail was dry enough to walk. I was very careful as the water was lapping at the path. You see there is a warning sign cautioning visitors that there are alligators in the park waters. The only wild life that I saw was a single bat that flew up from the underbrush. That was a surprise as I believe bats normally would be off sleeping in a secluded place during the day.

All in all, it was a neat way to spend an afternoon on a day when it was too cold to swim.

Flippant

Flippant ~ Smart or pert in speech.

Yes there are other definitions for flippant. This is the one that has stayed in my mind since the fifth grade. It seems that I have had difficulty stifling myself starting at an early age. I wrote that definition 5000 times several times during my fifth year of Catholic education. My Dad would come home and see me writing and he would just shake his head. In my high school yearbook I was remembered for "always keeping the class lively with candid remarks". Well, at least I never had to write anytime 5000 times. My wise ass mouth kept me on the edge of serious trouble in the Navy, and sometimes I would slip over the edge and I paid the price several times during those four years. I know that I have the ability to rub some folks raw. I don't always try, its just a natural gift.

Sometime a flip remark brightens someones moment. I'm thinking of a comment I made to someone I care about, that she should buy a string bikini and head South.

A Good Day

I have been in a bit of a funk lately. For someone who loves to drive, I have been doing very little of it. Perhaps, the focused drive from Rhode Island to Florida in two days after Christmas temporarily may have killed my desire to drive. There have been many days since my return when the car has sat idle. The rare times that I did use it was just to go to the market. I am currently in another period of fitful sleeping and seem to have low energy. Perhaps I have been dwelling on the memory that a year ago my wife began a long six months of chemo that ended when she collapsed and was transported to the hospital never to return home. I have been faithful to my morning walk and afternoon swim hoping I can exercise my way out of my funk.

I have been reading vorachiously. I am on my last book and I decided a couple of days ago that I must get more. TV rots and with the writers strike, TV can only get worse. This morning I skipped my daily walk and headed off to DeFuniak Springs to the Book Store that has some new books but mostly used books. I narrowed my selection down to five hard cover novels. I also turned in several books and got a $3.50 credit towards my purchases. I had a nice lunch in the Busy Bee restaurant. I had smoked brisket, coleslaw that no place in New England could match and fries with vinegar. I finished a roll of film that has the pictures I took over Christmas at home.

I actually did not mind the drive of around 80 miles total. This might be a good omen. In the last four days, I have received as many invitations to go and visit. My cousin Diane in Haines City, my friend Frankie near Orlando, and my wife's childhood friend, George in Seminole . They all want me to go and visit. My Navy buddy in Georgia asked me to come visit him today for a change of scenery and Southern hospitality. I don't think I am ready for a 6 to 7 hour drive quite yet. I hope that sometime in February I will venture down to the other part of Florida. I will stop in Georgia on the way home in March.

All in all, a good day. Now if I can sleep tonight.

Misc

The condo management published the names of the winter guests this week. This building seems to be the exception to the statistic that women outlive their men. There are 15 widowers and only 8 widows here. I seem to be the youngest.

The weather warmed today and I was able to walk in shorts and my newest favorite sweatshirt. I spent a good amount of time in the sunshine. I also sat on the balcony reading.

I had a nice long conversation with the lady from upstate New York that I met when she was in this area last December. She is planning on spending a week down here in January.

My mail must have been in a logjam somewhere. Today I received a number of cards (and bills)that were mailed mid December. I received a very nice note from Tanya Hartman. Tanya was always our waitress of choice in the Chippewa Room in Mackinaw City, MI. I also received a nice note from Sherree the owner on Brigadoon, the lovely B & B that we stayed at in Mackinaw City. I also received a nice note from Mr & Mrs Colangelo whom we met when Todd and Matthew were frat brothers together.

I decided to tidy up the condo. I vacuumed and washed all the counter tops. I did the mirrors in the bathroom and the bright work. I decided to wash the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. There seemed to be a nasty spot that the wet mop would not wash. I discovered that something had dropped and chipped the tile so deep the black backing showed through. This was before my arrival. However the floor did need a good washing.

I had planned on washing the car but the queue for the washing station was too long. Tomorrow is another day. I may opt for the local car wash if the lines are too long tomorrow.

Finally, the local schools will open on Monday or Tuesday and the movie and mall traffic will return to just adults during the day.

On the advice of locals I drove 35 miles round trip last night for BBQ. It was OK but they only has St. Louis style ribs. I wanted baby back ribs. The waitress was pleasant and nosy wanting to know why I was so far from home and alone. She guessed Rhode Island as soon as I requested vinegar for the french fries. I simply told her I had itchy feet and was always on the move. It was easier.

As I work through the stages of grief, I seem to revert back to anger. It seems to be the stage that I am spending the most time working through. I am certainly not depressed or in denial. Those stages came and went a long time ago.

During these past few days when the Florida weather really sucked, I started working on my "to do list". I refuse to call it the Bucket List. I may want to see that movie. The list will be the subject of a future post.

Three Miles

Every morning (at least 5 of 7) I walk three miles around the complex. If you are faithful to the exact perimeter it is one mile around the complex. This usually takes about 42 to 45 minutes depending on the wind. I have a lot of time to think about my life, world problems and anger.

Lately I have been think about anger. I know its one step of grieving. It's been just about five months and I would think this step should be passed by know. I tend to keep coming back to it. Some days I am mad at the whole damn world. Other days (today) I am especially mad at the Doctors and their continuing to paint a rosy picture to both of us even at the end. It was an Oncology fellow who took me aside the day my wife was being transferred to a Nursing Facility that was also associated with Hospice care that gave me a true estimate. I am not angry with her.


World problems interest me. By no means do I have answers. I just know that the current president is hocking the economic future of my children and grandchildren. Someday Americans will have to pay the piper. I will be long gone by then, I think.

I am irritated every time I have to press 1 for English. The weak sisters that we sent to Washington could not or would not make English our national language. For shame on all of them.

It seems to me that the presidential election should be over. Its 11 months away and I am sick of all of them.

I was raised to believe in God. If there is one, why does He allow humans to kill humans in His name.

My home of 39 years. I had such a difficult time sleeping there over Christmas. I talked to the gal who grew up two houses away. She is now Manager of a Colwell Banker office. She tells me that the market is way down. I won't sell cheap, but I need to be living some place else. I ponder this issue several times a week as I walk.

The Columbia River Gorge. I have been mapping out this journey for several weeks. The trip is now up to 10,ooo miles. If I drive to the West coast, I may as well see lighthouses in Washington, Oregon, and California, and the redwood trees, Yosemite, Salt Lake City, the Hoover Dam, and oh yes, the National Parks in Utah. Can't forget the Alamo, the Grand Canyon must be in there someplace. This is part of my "to do list". I don't have a bucket list.

I want to try and book a passage on a Great Lakes Freighter one summer.

I feel good about the Bonneville staying in the family. I appreciate my son taking my Dad's license plate. He had to give up his initials on the plate I got him with his first car. That will keep my Mom happy. I am finally down to one vehicle. My daughter loves the Bonnie.

As I walk the complex, I have determined that I am the only car from New England. I have run into a Mainer in the supermarket. He wearing his Red Sox cap. Me, I wear either a Comerica Cares or a VA-36 hat.

Christmas 2007

This Christmas was bittersweet. It was the first Christmas without my wife and my children and my grandchildren without her. I was initially not going to travel back home from Florida. It would be a 3000 mile round trip. Several things caused me to go. First there was Thanksgiving and I read my daughter's blog where she said she missed her father. My son spent Thanksgiving week with me and the day he left, I felt sad and alone. I did not want that for Christmas. My elder daughter's car was aging and a little small for three children. My son called me and suggested I help with a car for her. That night I decided that if she wanted her mothers car I would give it to her. I needed to be home to do the proper paper transactions. Most of all, I wanted to see them all. I took the car to the dealer and had all the necessary work completed. I am so glad the car is staying in the family. I do not need two cars and I did not want to sell it to a stranger.

I attended all the family functions and had great food everywhere I went. The giving of gifts to my family brought me great pleasure. I was chilly in my elder daughter's home Christmas night and my son in law loaned me a sweatshirt which I wore home and also the first day on the road back to Florida. It's great and has big letters on the back proclaiming MAYFLOWER II and the word CREW underneath. Really neat!

I finally got to meet my son's girlfriend. I now know why everyone in the family likes her. She is warm and has a ready smile a great sense of humor and she is quick to laugh.

I had a difficult time in the house. Everywhere I looked I saw Marie. I would get in bed and look at her pillow and see her, and then I could not sleep. The memories of 39 years in our home haunt me.

I was on the road heading south at 7 AM December 26Th and did not stop until Smithfield, NC. I was back to the condo early evening on the 27Th.

I received several thoughtful messages wishing that I find peace during this time of year. They were all comforting.

Ramblings

I have been swimming in the Gulf as the heated pool at the complex was too warm. I saw the notice that for the month of December the heat for the pool would be turned off until January 1st. Good, I thought now I'll swim in the pool as it cools off. Apparently they quit testing the water and I now have an infection in my eye lid. I tried self healing but after several caring folks urged me to see a professional and the lady in the office dialed the number of the Eye Care Center, I was committed. I was on the right track as I was putting hot face cloths on my eye lid. However, that was not enough to get the eye lid to drain. I was instructed to wash a potato and poke some holes in it and heat in the microwave for 5 minutes and wrap in a kitchen towel and apply for 25 minutes 3 times a day. I also needed to get some rather expensive eye drops. Well the potato is doing the job. My eyelid is gradually becoming its normal size. I have also discovered that the bigger the potato, the longer it stays hot. As they cool they shrivel and look very ugly. I will buy swimming goggles before I return to the pool.

Apalachicola

Isn't that a wonderful sounding name. The Apalachicola River drains into the Apalachicola bay purifying the oysters that grow here. They are noted for their sweet pure taste. Today, I drove there to have lunch in Papa Joe's. Its not located on the main street in Apalachicola. Its off towards the area where all the local fishing boats are docked. Its also the place where the locals eat. Marie and I stumbled across it three winters ago as we looked for a nature center that Marie wanted to visit. As an example the Cafe in town that caters to tourists was advertising 1/2 dozen for $5.99. At Papa Joe's a dozen cost $5.99. I managed to consume 3 dozen and washed them down with 1 beer. After all, I has an almost 2 hour drive back to the condo so 1 beer was the limit. I sure hope the drought is eased soon. The Army Core of Engineers has restricted the amount of water that would normally drain into the Apalachicola River to conserve drinking water for Atlanta. The water restriction is already having an effect on the oysters and other bay fishes, a major concern for the locals whose lively hood is dependent on the health of this body of water. As a side note, the Apalachicola River is the dividing line for the Central and Eastern time zone on the Florida Panhandle. West of the river is the Central Time Zone.

The skies over the local beach have been distressingly quiet these past two weeks. The Air Force F-15 Raptor has been grounded because a recent plane crash in Mississippi was traced to a crack in the aileron. So the entire fleet of planes are grounded while maintenance crews strip the paint and carefully inspect these planes.

Gasoline has been dropping steadily since Thanksgiving on the Panhandle and today I saw major branded regular gas as low as 2.919 a gallon.

The Presidential election is slightly less than a year away and I am already sick of ALL of them.

I feel a need to be home for Christmas! Iwill be keeping a close eye on the weather up the route I 95 from Florida to Rhode Island.

The Food Chain

My son and I were walking the beach early Thanksgiving morning. We stopped to chat with a fisherman who had two rods working. He is from north of Toronto and retired from the Canadian army after 28 years of service. He was a very affable person. While we were talking, he brought up the subject of sharks. He began a dissertation on the Bull Shark, a creature that prefers warm water and one that is prevalent off the gulf coast at certain times of the year and occasionally anytime. They are a very aggressive shark. He encouraged up to Google Bull Shark. I told him I try to swim almost everyday. With a big smile he told me as soon as you put your feet in the water you become part of the food chain. We all chuckled and Todd and I continued our walk.

Todd did Google the creature and we were quite amazed. Its the only shark that can survive in salt and fresh water. They have been found in the Great Lakes and over 2000 miles up the Amazon River.

To think my mother did not want me to come to Florida because of the Gators and snakes.

Four Things

I will take the challenge from my daughter

4 Jobs I had:

Paperboy
Super market "gofer" stack shelves, check out register, whatever
U S Navy Jet Mechanic
Computer Programmer


4 Movies I love to watch:

Pretty Woman
The Quiet Man
The African Queen
The Hunt For Red October

4 Places I have Lived:

Des Moines, Iowa (during WW II - I don't remember it)
Aboard the USS Saratoga
3rd floor apartment Pawtucket RI - first 3 years of marriage
Raised ranch North Providence, RI

4 TV Shows I enjoy:

Bones
Womans Murder Club
Saving Grace
Cold Case

4 Places I have been:

The top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
Beirut before the troubles
Catapulted off an aircraft carrier in a Navy jet
Lafayette, Louisianna

4 Websites I visit daily:

Yahoo
Lighthousefriends
My Bank's homepage
ABC6

4 Favorite Foods:

A great steak with baked potato topped with butter and sour cream
BBQ ribs wet or dry rub - Memphis
Edy's slow churned chocolate chip ice cream
Greasey cheeseburger with mustard and raw onion

4 Places I'd rather be:

This is difficult as I am retired and I have the time and resouces to go where I want

Panama City Beach, FL in the winter
Rhode Island in the spring and fall
The coast of Maine in the summer
With any of my grandchildren without their parents

This is a conditional location - Australia if Hillary wins

4 Places I'd like to visit:

Take the day train from London to Edinbough
Cruise the Alaskan coast
Columbia River Gorge
West coast Lighthouses

The week that was

My son flew in on the Monday before Thanksgiving to spend a week with me. I picked him up at the Tallahassee airport. His plane was early. Perhaps Bush's opening the military air route was going to work. My son arrived with a bad cough, chest congestion and a notably downhearted attitude. By the time we arrived back at Panama City Beach, it was too late to get him any over the counter meds. Early the next morning while he was still sleeping I went and got cold pills and cough syrup.

Slowly over the next two days he started feeling better. He was also getting plenty of rest. We shopped for Thanksgiving dinner. We bought a 5 pound turkey breast. I conferred with my youngest daughter on cooking time. Fortunately there were instructions inside the wrapping with cooking time and temperature instructions. We had a great meal and he watched football all afternoon. He lamented on the fact that the condo did not have the NFL network for the evening game. I said a silent prayer thanking the condo association for not providing that channel. Thus I managed to get through another milestone. I was glad my son came.

On Friday he and I took a ride to DeFuniak Springs. Their claim to fame is a perfectly round lake. The center of town looks like a picture out of Norman Rockwell. Unfortunately, the local shops look like the Wal Mart on the main road leading into the area is siphoning all of the business from that area. The one shop that looked the busiest was a local new and used book store. We browsed for some time and we each made purchases. This store was a great favorite of my wife's. The two local restaurants were closed so we headed back to the condo.

Saturday, we headed to Tallahassee in early afternoon. My son had a 7 AM flight on Sunday morning, and I decided the best bet was to stay overnight in Tallahassee. We did go to the historic old capitol building. I wandered around out side taking pictures while he went inside. I was going to join him. We were late and they were closing so I did not get inside. I need to make a day trip and go back and take the tour.

Yesterday, we were up at 4:15 AM EST or 3:30 AM CST (my body is on CST). I tried to go back to the motel for more sleep, but I could not. It's odd but when I got back to the condo, I missed my son.

Last evening was the worse night I have had since I left home. I had a complete meltdown. I believe several thing contributed to my sense of dis pare. I was physically exhausted, I was channel surfing when I came upon the Anne of Green Gables series. This was a favorite of my wife and the reason she requested that we tour Prince Edward Island. I had also read my daughter's blog describing her feelings at a family birthday party. So I had a dreadful evening, feeling guilty and sad.

Apalachicola

Apalachicola is noted for its oysters. These oysters are among the best in the world. They are grown in the bay where the fresh water river empties. This combination results in a sweet fresh tasting oyster rather than a salty tasting oyster. The city of Atlanta is in serious trouble with fresh drinking water falling below 80 days supply. The Governor of Georgia petition the Army Core of Engineers to reduce the flow of water down the river that empties into the Apalachicola Bay. The oyster fishermen are looking at reduced crop yields as a result. The southeast desperately needs heavy prolonged rain.

Last Thursday I headed East to Apalachicola for oysters. I went to Papa Joe's which is slightly off the tourist path. Marie and I found this accidentally because it was on a side street when we were going to buy Tupelo Honey. As soon as the waitress came to the table, she mentioned that the oysters might be saltier. I ordered the first dozen. They came ice cold with minced horseradish on the side. A little dab of horseradish and a squirt of cocktail sauce and I was ready. Needless to say they were well worth the 160 mile round trip. Yes, a couple were salty, but they more than met my expectations. In fact I ordered a second dozen.

The cafe in the center of town is notable because a couple of scenes from Ulee's Gold was filmed there.

I am thankful that I seem to have found a sense of peacefulness here. I may be alone but I don't feel lonely.

Lafayette

This past weekend I went to Lafayette to get together with a group of Navy friends. Over 40 years ago we were best friends. Now we are more like brothers. I loved Lafayette. Everywhere we went a Cajun group was playing. There is a mournful sound to their singing, not that I could understand the Cajun French. We went to dinner and the band was playing. We went to breakfast and the band was playing. We went on a swamp tour and when I drove up and over the levee on a gravel path we viewed a large body of water. This is called Atchafalaya an Indian name meaning long river. The tour was not for another 90 minutes. We sat on the porch listening to the Cajun band. Some of us drank bloody marys, or beers. I was the designated driver so I stuck with diet coke. Norris was our tour guide and he gave us statistics on the size of the swamp which is created by the overflow of drainage from 31 states and 2 provinces of Canada. He would lapse from English to French as we had two visitors from France. At one point he slowed and slapped the side of the boat and upped pop the snout of an alligator. Norris promptly tossed a chunk of chicken to the gator. It was a great time with perfect weather.

We ended the day back at the hosts home. We told sea stories from years ago that get better with passing years while the ribs were grilling. I will go back to Lafayette before I head home in the spring. I think of the basket of sweet potato biscuits that accompanied breakfast at Prejeans and the music and dancing at Mulachs. Best of all I was with the people that have become part of my family.

Three miles

Today was notable for three things:

1) I went to morning mass at the local Catholic Church. First time since Marie's service. It was at 7 AM.


2) I made the three mile walk today in a fairly decent time.

3) The maintenance man for this building ran a wire into the unit and hooked up my computer to a black box (actually white) and I have high speed Internet. No more dial up. I won't cancel the dial up just yet. I am the A building beta test site and will periodically report my access and speed of connection to management.

Less notable, I read the owners manual and changed the clock in the car that was still set to Eastern daylight saving time, a two hour difference. It was a little chilly this morning. I'm still in short sleeves and shorts, but the noon anchor introduced the weatherman by saying it was COLD. By then it was hovering around 60 degrees with a light wind.

I am thankful for my three attentive children.

First Milestone

One positive about being in an area with seniors skipping their native home winters is that you get to talk to folks in your age group. Granted most are about a decade older. I have spoken to a couple who have been through the alone thing and they mention that it takes a year. To get through the first birthday, holiday or whatever.

Today is the first milestone. It would be our 42ND wedding anniversary. I am doing OK. First my son called, then i opened a short but touching email from the youngest daughter. Then my brother in law John called.

I accomplished a task that may seem out of the ordinary for this milestone. I went to social security to apply for my wife's death benefit. I don't need the money, but it is a benefit that the government supplies ($255.00). She worked and they took a portion of her pay, so I wanted the money for her. When I arrived, I got a number and the ticket said approximate wait time 35 minutes. Now my family knows about my patients level. So, an hour later when I was called for the pre-interview, I was still calm. Then it was another 20 minutes for the final interview and completion of all paperwork. In about a month the money will be deposited. They were very kind and after 90 minutes I was able to walk out pleased that I did not leave without finishing.

I may be alone, but oddly, I am not lonely.

I am thankful that my family thinks about me and worries about me. I am pleased with me for sticking it out at social security.

Settling In

I took a good look at the pots and pans in the rented condo. All the frying pans (2) have peeling Teflon. Not good. There is no roasting pan and the toaster is damaged and only warms one side of the bread leaving the other side cool and un-toasted. Now I am not a fan of Wal-Mart but the folks that work at the local store are so pleasant unlike the ones in nearby Massachusetts to my Northern home.

I purchased a nice (made in USA) frying pan and a roasting pan. I also bought a cheap toaster. All of which, I will tote home in the spring. I miss my gas grill. I used that almost every night to cook. I am uncertain as to how long to cook chicken in the oven here. I will get that done.

I washed the car today. There is a nice spot with a water hose in a out of the way spot. I wanted to get the remaining bugs off the front and road grime from several states. I pulled the car into the carport which was not designed with this van in mind. I had to fold the drivers side mirror.

I did get a nice swim in the Gulf. The paper said the water temp is 76, but I believe it is less than that.

My daughter mentions something that she is thankful for each day. I am always thankful for family and friends. Today I am thankful that I have been able to concentrate for the last 3 days on a book I have been reading. Lately I have not been able to do that. I am also retaining what I have read. The book is "Flags of Our Fathers" by James Bradley.

Snow Bird

Yes, I realize that it's too early to be escaping a New England winter, but this year, I needed a change of scenery. I don't propose to blog everyday in November as my youngest daughter is doing. However, I plan on being more active. I left Rhode Island in late October and headed South. My first night was spent in Virginia Beach, VA for two reasons. I prefer not to drive the beltway around DC and I like the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and tunnel. I always stop on the scenic overlook. That day the water was angry and waves were breaking over the breakwater. I called my old Navy pal, Hugh (Tex) and he and his wife took me out to dinner. I always enjoy his and Samra's company. The following day, I stopped in Georgia and stayed with another old Navy pal and his wife. They were still suffering jet lag after their 16 day tour of Europe. It was a restful time with old friends. I particularly enjoyed the Southern buffet in Statesboro. It had been a while since I had collard greens and also a side of stewed tomatoes to go with the grilled chicken.

I arrived at the condo, November 1st. It was an uneventful drive from Georgia. The unit is very pleasant with a great bed. Now if I can only start sleeping longer. The only gripe I have is the refrigerator. It's old, noisy and missing a shelf. Fortunately I can't hear it in the bed room. The furniture is nice but a little low for me. I had twisted my back the day before I left and it is now fine. It was bothersome on the drive down. The only issue is my left hip. I hope the swimming and walking will do it some good.


I have been in the Gulf and the unheated pool swimming laps. I started out with two miles walking in the mornings and plan on being up to three miles by the 19Th of this month. Right now I want to build some stamina and improve my time.

Today, the Florida Ironman competition is taking place in Panama City Beach. I watched from my balcony as the 1100+ contestants hit the water this morning for the 2.4 mile swim. I did not see the bike part as it was out towards the west of the condo. I can see the marathon from the condo. I decided to stay put today. They should all be leaving tomorrow or Monday. They have clogged traffic since I arrived doing their training.

I have begun to psych myself up for next Friday's drive to Lafayette, LA. You see, I like to drive, but, I'm not sleeping well yet and I get groggy driving. Manuel is a good friend and he flew to Rhode Island for Marie's celebration, so I will go and stop often on the way. I started to research the lighthouses that would be easily accessable in New Orleans, but Katrina did them in. The others require chartering a boat or plane which I am not going to do.

Best Woman

"Best Woman" is a term that originated with my youngest daughter. She used it to describe my wife who was her "best woman" at her wedding.

Sandra, my wife's cousin, was our "best woman" 42 years ago. Sandra may be a cousin but they were more like sisters. They are about six months apart in age and their respective yards abutted for years until my wife's sister built her home in between. Sandra flew in from Denver to participate in our wedding.

Sandra's husband unexpectively passed away 23 days after my wife. After a couple of weeks, I called Sandra in the early evening. From my own experience, I knew that the time after dinner alone in the house was a hard time. Sandra and I talked that evening for about 45 minutes. We also picked a day where I would drive to her home (110 miles away) and we would have lunch. I brought picture albums and two more pair of Monet clip earrings for Sandra. Marie and Sandra are the only two women I know who never pierced their ears. Sandra was delighted when I originally gave her over 30 pair. It seems that their one time "girl talk" centered on the wonderful attributes of the Monet clip earring. Sandra made a delightful soup with a Panera bread. We looked at the pictures, laughted a lot and maybe got a little weepy too. It was a delightful day and I headed back to Rhode Island hoping I brightened our "best woman's" day. I know I was glad I went.

It's going to take time, but Sandra and I will heal and she will always be Marie's "best woman".

Medicare - Tilting at Windmills

I was pushed into retirement four years ago as my company was cutting costs and trying to increase profits. In hindsight I was very fortunate. The package was generous, I had turned 62 a week earlier, and my son looked at my finances and told me I would never have to work again if I did not want too. Two weeks later, my wife found her lump and we began what was going to only be a four year battle with cancer. Part of the package was a buy into the company medical plan for the two of us. A year ago when I turned 65, my wife went on a single plan through the company until she turned 65 or 18 months whichever came first. The cancer came back with a vengeance this past December. My wife turned 65 in July so Medicare B kicked in July 1st. Medicare A kicked in when MS caused her to be disabled a number of years ago. The company carried her until July 31st. The Medi-gap policy when into effect August 1st.

Herein was the problem, when the hospital and the nursing home billed Medicare, Medicare said Blue Cross was primary and of course Blue Cross said Medicare was primary. Both billing parties called me. I then began my quest with Medicare Coordination of Benefits. The first person who answered said I must put my wife on the phone to authorize me to speak for her. I explained that she passed away. She said, "I don't know that, I must protect her privacy". I was told that I would have to fax in a death certificate. I did that the same day and wait a couple of business days. So I did and got another person who once again said, I don't see a death certificate. I sent it. well it takes several days for it to be entered. I told her that the government could listen to my phone calls without a warrant, delve into my Internet wanderings and invade my privacy, but you won't help me clear this payment issue up. That's right. So I waited and called several days later and this time a wonderful woman answered. I explained my situation, she told me that the death certificate was not entered yet but she could help. She said she could see that the monthly social security benefits were stopped and that she had a different view of the privacy laws. She then asked a few questions and I listened while she keyed for several minutes. She finished by telling me she was sorry for my loss, and that I could tell the hospital and nursing home to wait 15 days and resubmit and that medicare was now primary and the bills would be paid. I told her she was an angel and a burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

Direct TV

When my wife went into the nursing home, the staff person directed me to Direct TV as the recommended supplier. I wanted to be able to have a connection for my wife to watch or listen to her beloved Red Sox. When I called, I made it quite clear that this was a month or two connection, three months if I was lucky while my wife was in the nursing home. At no time did this person tell me that I needed to commit to a year contract. The installer came, said nothing and left no paper work. I was quoted a monthly cost of $41.00. I cared not that the invoice was for $61.00 as my wife was slowly slipping away from me. In less than 30 days my wife lost her battle with cancer. I called to cancel the service and was told by a less than diplomatic man that I was obligated to pay a year fee for the converter. I explained the reason for the cancellation and that this was a nursing home, etc. Well he said you will be billed. Shortly thereafter, I received the invoice. Once again I called, and this time I encountered a more sympathetic person, who directed me to sent a copy of the bill and a copy of the death certificate to an address in Colorado. I did this immediately two weeks ago.

You can imagine my ire when I discovered Direct TV charged my credit card for the full amount. I then sent an email to my entire address book detailing my feelings regarding Direct TV. To add insult to injury, yesterday, I received a notice that if I did not pay immediately I would be charged $5.00 late fee. I immediately called, was on hold for 10 minutes, and fortunately was answered by a kind person. After listening to me tell her what I thought of her greedy unethical corporation, I did tell I realized she was a telebank operator, and irate people like me never get to talk to real management. She did tell me that the paperwork I sent may take 6 to 8 weeks to be entered into the system and that I "probably" will be refunded.

Time will tell. However, if I ever move to an area where it is Direct TV or nothing....It will be nothing, even if they give me back the money.

Alone

I am in my mid sixties and for the first time in my life, I am living alone. Cancer robbed me of the great love of my life a few weeks ago. I am fortunate that I am surrounded by memories and my dedicated children and their families. I am also blessed with a caring niece and my wife's cousin.

I have forced myself to cook fairly balanced meals and only occasionally have forgotten my meds. I read the paper when I go out for breakfast, that way I don't feel alone. I see several other men in my age group doing the same thing. Dinner out means sitting at the bar in the restaurant. They always have a TV on and the bar tender will almost always chat with the patrons at the bar. Very few introverts become bar tenders.

When I was working, I was required to travel to Europe and I was usually gone at least two weeks. I hated the travel as I was away from my family, but I knew it was a limited situation.

Now, I am alone in 9 rooms. I have decided that I will not make any sudden changes that I might regret in a year or two. The house will not be sold at least for the next year or two. I have seen apartment living and it does not appeal to me. My yard is filled with flowers and flowering trees and bushes. They were all planted by me at Marie's request. I feel the need to tend them a while longer. As sick as she was, she would ask me every day if her Rose of Sharon had bloomed. As soon as it did I brought the pictures to show her. All the blooms died the day after she passed.

Evening are the hardest time. I do not have the patients or concentration to watch much TV. I tape everything and then will watch the programs in short segments, stopping and returning when I feel like it.

I know this feeling will pass in time. Marie told me that I would be OK, and I will be.